December definitely has to be one of the most
challenging months I had this year. The first 18 days were spent in Missouri
(definitely not my favorite of the 50 states) but the rest was spent with
dozens of people I hadn’t seen in months and missed terribly. As I looked
through my journal for the first half of December, I found the sentence “I am
unhappy” written more times than I hope to ever see or feel again. Time passed
slower than it ever has and all I wanted was to move forward, past the state of
sadness, boredom, and Missouri/misery I was in. My normal distractions for
loneliness did not prove to be as consuming in December as they were in
November. Despite the seeming hopelessness that the first half of December
held…wonderful, beautiful things happened like they always do. And it was those
things that got me through our last weeks in “purgatory”.
Playing Around
I have found in the past many months that
when my thoughts get the best of me, when I can’t help but feel lonely, and
when I feel uncharacteristically hopeless…I need to simply play. I need to let
myself be a child again and let all my worries fade away with the simple,
joyful act of laughing.
Despite Saint Robert, Missouri being Bayou
6’s least favorite location over the past 4 months…we did find two peaceful
locations together. One was the park located perfectly between our hotel and
office space. At this park, we were able to fully immerse in our youth. We made
a relay race on the playground, climbed and hopped all over the mini-skate
park, jumped off swings, took tons of pictures, played “Heads Up”, and laughed
uncontrollable amounts.
The second location was the Pulaski County
Historic Courthouse. This was the only place we were able to perform
Independent Service Projects during our time in Missouri. It was our job to
paint the discolored damaged walls from the flooding that occurred just a few
months before. I know a large reason I felt so peaceful there was because it was
a beautiful display of the teamwork and love that has flourished within Bayou
6. We volunteered two separate times and successfully painted the entire
high-ceilinged and historically significant space.
I came to the unfortunate discovery (even
though I tried my best to fight it) that I’m not a winter person. I’m a California
girl born and raised…and that became obvious to me when I started getting
abnormally pouty when I couldn’t go outside as much as I wanted without losing
feeling in my fingers. My team and I did have a good time playing in the snow,
though, on the first day…
Getting Excited for Next SPIKE…
As a recent business marking graduate, I
decided that I should gather data from my team, analyze it, and create
improvements for the next two SPIKEs. As forced as this sounds, it was the best
decision I could have made. My team’s answers got me super amped for this
upcoming SPIKE (where ever that may be—stay tuned) and got my brain churning with
ideas for an even better experience for Bayou 6 in 2014.
Back to Mississippi
The four days I spent in Mississippi in
December were my sweetest and most precious days this month. Upon arriving, I
did everything in extremes. Any time I was alone, I was calm…but any time I
reunited with a Team Leader or staff member, I lost it. I sprinted more my
first day in Mississippi than my entire High School track career combined
(hyperbole). I have never been exhausted for such a wonderful reason in my life.
Every time I saw someone I loved, I felt like a missing piece of my heart was
replenished.
Being in Mississippi again resulted in a lot
of reflection and reminiscing. The best realization I had? Bayou 6 is a brand
new team. After deep cleaning our van, one of my Corps Members asked me “Do you
remember the last time we had to deep clean the van?” I said I had forgotten.
The last time Bayou 6 had to clean the van, there was no sense of teamwork, camaraderie,
and everyone despised having to be with one another. This time? Imagine the
picture to the right coupled with Lady Gaga’s CD blasting in the background. We built
this. We became a family. My heart leaps at this discovery. California Love
Well shoot, to go into my time at home with
great detail would likely bore the hell out of most of you. Because of that, I
will just do a quick recap. I saw about a bajillion people I love, soaked up
the California sun every single day, played the piano for hours on end, read
(and am still reading) On the Road by Jack Kerouac, watched The Secret Life of
Walter Mitty, sang Wicked tunes obnoxiously at the top of my lungs, received a
rejuvenating relaxation massage, visited my beautiful Pacific, played
racquetball with my brother, and got my computer fixed—hallelujah! My time here was
refreshing just as I hoped it would be. It’s terrifying how easy it is to get
comfortable NOT working though…
The Simple Serendipities
I guess this month's serendipities are mostly about being excited for my future, proud of myself, and ecstatic that I have such incredible people in my life. These are simple facts that are truly impossible to ignore.
Being
reminded I’m fearless: On Christmas
day, my grandfather reminded me of one very important thing. When I was 11
years old, I went to Australia and New Zealand with the People to People Student Ambassador program.
After stumbling over my response to the
question “What are you going to do after AmeriCorps?” my grandpa said this: “You’ve
been incredible since you were eleven years old. You weren’t too scared to go
to Australia when you were eleven…so you won’t be too scared to do anything in
your 20s.” I cannot imagine a better time for that sentence to have graced my
ears. Thanks Grandpa.
I understand
this reference: I also know that this dude's name is Aaron Rodgers, he plays for the Packers and he just came back from a collar bone injury. BOOYAH.
Being an
Editor: As you all can tell…I love love love writing.
And guess what? I love editing too. My friend Dave has this
kick-ass travel blog-- The Quest for Awesome-- and has been writing guest posts for some other travel
blogs, too. He has asked me to help him edit a couple posts. It’s been awesome
to do something I love for someone I care so deeply about. Below are the links
to his published articles. Proud of you, Dave.
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