As I so cynically forewarned all
of you a few weeks ago, February is the Month of the Funk. And by absolutely no
means am I referring to music here…
Campus and all AmeriCorps NCCC
staff and alumni warned us that every team and every individual on each team
goes through some sort of funk in the month of February. There really is no way
to prepare for what happens this month, it is different for every team, but it
happens—trust me.
Essentially, this was the month I
made those challenging decisions staff alluded to over the summer. This is also
the month I lost another Corps
Member. 60% attrition for Bayou 6 this year…lovely.
February was only 28 days long…but it might as well have been three times that.
The work, the team, and my health were constantly weighing me down, stressing
me out, and losing me lots of sleep.
Bayou 6 Team Clearance Meeting
At least once per year, the
campus counselor likes to set up a “Team Clearance Meeting” for every team in
the Corps. Luckily, the campus counselor and one of the Unit Leaders from the
Southern Region Campus came to Washington, DC for a site visit this month. Out
of precautionary necessity, Bayou 6 was able to get one of these meetings set
up. The topic of the meeting: What is your role within the team and how does it
affect those around you?
This meeting brought a lot of
concerns to my attention: 1. Some people have not yet found their role on the
team 2. Some people hate this program And 3. Some people recognize their
negative affect on the team but are taking no ownership over improving or
changing that role.
This meeting caused a lot of
ripples…my team and me are still feeling their tidal affects today. I will
gladly share more details if you care to know. Simply ask away.
Those Fourteen Hour Days
Work was insane this month. We
were working two time sensitive projects simultaneously, we lost a team member
in the middle of the deadlines, we learned to say “no”, and we put in lots and
lots of hours. On top of all that, Bayou 6 was going through some emotional
hurricanes.
Despite the overwhelming-ness of
it all, we did recognize one very important thing: We are being trusted with an
incredibly high-priority assignment. For the first time since our deployment
with FEMA Corps in October, we are doing challenging, stimulating, analytical
work. And because of that, we are and will be forever grateful.
Being Scared…but Moving Forward Anyways
Something I have always loved to
avoid is confrontation. It can be confrontation of positive emotions, punishing
negative behavior, and having sensitive conversations—it doesn’t matter—I hate
and avoid them all the same. As I have mentioned a time or two before, there is
no avoiding what you’re afraid of in this program. This month was all about
these challenging conversations.
I delved into Corps Members’
rumors of quitting, asked other members to reconsider their dedication to this
program, admitted to my own flaws and neediness, and shared how grateful and
happy I am to have certain people in my life. I definitely dreaded the start of
each of these conversations…but the result of every single one has been nothing
but constructive and, in some cases, positive.
Team Leader Transition
After many extensive
conversations with the Team Leaders I am deployed with, I decided to act on a
plan we all brainstormed: Team Leader Transition. Ever since Team Leader Training
ended in August, all of Team Green hasn’t had the chance to rebuild, rekindle,
or create new or old relationships. I asked for all of Team Green’s input on
the idea, submitted the proposal to campus, and got it approved. Currently, I
am in the process of creating an 8-hour curriculum that will allow for the
brainstorming and story-sharing of every Team Green member to the entire group.
Uninterrupted bonding time…something we haven’t seen in over 7 months.
That Health Thing
Because of how stressful this
month already was why wouldn’t my
body decide to backfire on me? When I wasn’t in and out of the doctor’s office
for various check-ups…I was curled up in bed with stomach pains. Lack of sleep,
emotional stress, hormones, and the inability to truly slow down came to
fruition this month. Things got concerning enough that I had to stay home from
work, take myself to the doctor, and sleep when I would normally be operating
at 110%. This roadblock just added an extra layer to the absurdity of February.
But hey, I’m still here.
The Simple Serendipities
While this month was definitely
full of anxiety, sickness, sadness, frustrations, and anger—an entire month
never goes by without a few happy and notable things.
Team Green Birthday Celebration: It was one of my very close Team Green
friend’s birthdays this month. A group of about 6 of us went out in downtown DC,
laughed until our bellies ached, and shared sappy, heart-felt exchanges the
whole night long. There was tree-climbing, wrestling in the streets, and sharing
of embarrassing stories. We were happy, every last one of us; we got to be
normal young adults again.
Butternut Squash Soup: I made amazing butternut squash soup!! I have
absolutely no way of recreating it…because I didn’t write down what I did…but
who cares! I took a look at a few recipes but then I did my own thing. I think
I might actually be okay at this cooking thing. I’m honestly shocked.
Valentine’s Day Re-do: Since February 14th was the end of
a pretty emotionally exhausting week, my Valentine and I postponed our
celebration. On Monday, I had the pleasure of going to Old Town Alexandria, got
a massage, ate a delicious lunch, had intellectually stimulating conversation, watched
stupid YouTube videos, ate ice cream in the snow, and laughed—a lot. I had a
great three-days-after Valentine’s Day. I’m a pretty lucky lady.
Smithsonian Art Gallery: There is a gorgeous, high-ceilinged, peaceful,
warm room in the Art Gallery in the National Mall. My departing Corps Member
showed it to me one of her last days on the team and I have since shared it
with all my fellow Team Leaders. With how insane this job gets at times, it was
a relief to find a peaceful place to think.
February was exhausting, clearly.
The crazy (and psychotically depressing) thing is that there are only
three more chances for crazy months like this again. Graduation is a short 11
weeks away. After a month like this, you would think I’d be itching for that
finish line…but I’m not. I’m still seeing so much growth in my team,
contributing to the positive image of FEMA Corps, and ready for a few more
crazy stories. Fingers crossed that sh*t doesn’t hit the fan too hard…but that
my team and I come through it stronger no matter what. AMEN!
