That February Funk

As I so cynically forewarned all of you a few weeks ago, February is the Month of the Funk. And by absolutely no means am I referring to music here…

Campus and all AmeriCorps NCCC staff and alumni warned us that every team and every individual on each team goes through some sort of funk in the month of February. There really is no way to prepare for what happens this month, it is different for every team, but it happens—trust me.

Essentially, this was the month I made those challenging decisions staff alluded to over the summer. This is also the month I lost another Corps Member. 60% attrition for Bayou 6 this year…lovely. February was only 28 days long…but it might as well have been three times that. The work, the team, and my health were constantly weighing me down, stressing me out, and losing me lots of sleep.

Bayou 6 Team Clearance Meeting

At least once per year, the campus counselor likes to set up a “Team Clearance Meeting” for every team in the Corps. Luckily, the campus counselor and one of the Unit Leaders from the Southern Region Campus came to Washington, DC for a site visit this month. Out of precautionary necessity, Bayou 6 was able to get one of these meetings set up. The topic of the meeting: What is your role within the team and how does it affect those around you?

This meeting brought a lot of concerns to my attention: 1. Some people have not yet found their role on the team 2. Some people hate this program And 3. Some people recognize their negative affect on the team but are taking no ownership over improving or changing that role.

This meeting caused a lot of ripples…my team and me are still feeling their tidal affects today. I will gladly share more details if you care to know. Simply ask away.

Those Fourteen Hour Days

Work was insane this month. We were working two time sensitive projects simultaneously, we lost a team member in the middle of the deadlines, we learned to say “no”, and we put in lots and lots of hours. On top of all that, Bayou 6 was going through some emotional hurricanes.

Despite the overwhelming-ness of it all, we did recognize one very important thing: We are being trusted with an incredibly high-priority assignment. For the first time since our deployment with FEMA Corps in October, we are doing challenging, stimulating, analytical work. And because of that, we are and will be forever grateful.

Being Scared…but Moving Forward Anyways

Something I have always loved to avoid is confrontation. It can be confrontation of positive emotions, punishing negative behavior, and having sensitive conversations—it doesn’t matter—I hate and avoid them all the same. As I have mentioned a time or two before, there is no avoiding what you’re afraid of in this program. This month was all about these challenging conversations.

I delved into Corps Members’ rumors of quitting, asked other members to reconsider their dedication to this program, admitted to my own flaws and neediness, and shared how grateful and happy I am to have certain people in my life. I definitely dreaded the start of each of these conversations…but the result of every single one has been nothing but constructive and, in some cases, positive.

Team Leader Transition

After many extensive conversations with the Team Leaders I am deployed with, I decided to act on a plan we all brainstormed: Team Leader Transition. Ever since Team Leader Training ended in August, all of Team Green hasn’t had the chance to rebuild, rekindle, or create new or old relationships. I asked for all of Team Green’s input on the idea, submitted the proposal to campus, and got it approved. Currently, I am in the process of creating an 8-hour curriculum that will allow for the brainstorming and story-sharing of every Team Green member to the entire group. Uninterrupted bonding time…something we haven’t seen in over 7 months.

That Health Thing

Because of how stressful this month already was why wouldn’t my body decide to backfire on me? When I wasn’t in and out of the doctor’s office for various check-ups…I was curled up in bed with stomach pains. Lack of sleep, emotional stress, hormones, and the inability to truly slow down came to fruition this month. Things got concerning enough that I had to stay home from work, take myself to the doctor, and sleep when I would normally be operating at 110%. This roadblock just added an extra layer to the absurdity of February. But hey, I’m still here.

The Simple Serendipities

While this month was definitely full of anxiety, sickness, sadness, frustrations, and anger—an entire month never goes by without a few happy and notable things.

Team Green Birthday Celebration: It was one of my very close Team Green friend’s birthdays this month. A group of about 6 of us went out in downtown DC, laughed until our bellies ached, and shared sappy, heart-felt exchanges the whole night long. There was tree-climbing, wrestling in the streets, and sharing of embarrassing stories. We were happy, every last one of us; we got to be normal young adults again.

Butternut Squash Soup: I made amazing butternut squash soup!! I have absolutely no way of recreating it…because I didn’t write down what I did…but who cares! I took a look at a few recipes but then I did my own thing. I think I might actually be okay at this cooking thing. I’m honestly shocked.

Valentine’s Day Re-do: Since February 14^th was the end of a pretty emotionally exhausting week, my Valentine and I postponed our celebration. On Monday, I had the pleasure of going to Old Town Alexandria, got a massage, ate a delicious lunch, had intellectually stimulating conversation, watched stupid YouTube videos, ate ice cream in the snow, and laughed—a lot. I had a great three-days-after Valentine’s Day. I’m a pretty lucky lady.

Smithsonian Art Gallery: There is a gorgeous, high-ceilinged, peaceful, warm room in the Art Gallery in the National Mall. My departing Corps Member showed it to me one of her last days on the team and I have since shared it with all my fellow Team Leaders. With how insane this job gets at times, it was a relief to find a peaceful place to think.

February was exhausting, clearly. The crazy (and psychotically depressing) thing is that there are only three more chances for crazy months like this again. Graduation is a short 11 weeks away. After a month like this, you would think I’d be itching for that finish line…but I’m not. I’m still seeing so much growth in my team, contributing to the positive image of FEMA Corps, and ready for a few more crazy stories. Fingers crossed that sh*t doesn’t hit the fan too hard…but that my team and I come through it stronger no matter what. AMEN!