"Letting Go"

Tonight I went to a yoga class at the gym. I don't normally go on Fridays...but somehow I had the motivation to do it this week...and boy, am I grateful? 

The theme for tonight was "Letting Go." During certain points of the practice the instructor would ask for us to think of something in our lives that we have been holding onto and let it go...or at least start to. This "thing" could be stress, tension in certain parts of our bodies, negative memories, hurtful people, hurtful situations, anything. If you would have asked me two months or three weeks ago or even last week...I promise I could have come up with a whole list of situations that I needed to let go. Don't get me wrong, I am sure there are still things that are cooped up somewhere that just weren't in the forefront of my mind this evening...but tonight I couldn't think of a damn situation or person that I haven't forgiven for causing me pain. 

I thought briefly about my year with AmeriCorps, past relationships, current ones, the unexpected Denver situation, broken promises, painful secrets, hurt feelings...but as quickly as these things came into my mind...they were just as quickly gone. 

You want to know what I let go of this evening? I let go of tension in my forehead.

I assume it's because I have truly let my pain simmer and time has continued to pass...but I'm really making a conscious effort to be happy here. Perhaps my experience this past Sunday is what helped this realization come along. Quick update: I decided to go to church for the first time in months this past Sunday. I was 1/3 the age of the majority of the congregation, it was a much different experience than I hoped for, and I think that about covers it. But in the weekly bulletin there was a quote/prayer written by Dr. Richard Halverson, past chaplain of the US Senate:

You go nowhere by accident. Wherever you go, God is sending you. Wherever you are, God has put you there; He has a purpose in your being there. Christ, Who indwells you has something He wants to do through where you are. Believe this and go in His grace and love and power. Amen. 

As most of you know, I'm not a ridiculously religious person...but I do believe there's a reason for everything. Denver. Denver, Denver, Denver. This is not what I expected of my experience here. But for some reason I moved here with two of my best friends, for some reason they left, for some reason I work at a coffee shop, with "at-risk" youth, and teach voice lessons. Somebody wants me to do something here. I'm here to make some impact. 

My jobs allow me to interact with dozens and dozens of people every single day. Every day I have the opportunity to make (probably over a hundred) people's days better. This past week is certainly the first time I've really thought about what a unique and powerful situation I find myself in. There is no doubt that I thought things would be different here in Denver...but I have stopped thinking-- finally--that they would have been better. It's been about two and a half months since my expectations were flushed down the toilet and I think I can finally say, at least today, that I find myself completely at peace. 

Halle-freaking-lujah...and Happy Friday, people. Go be totally content exactly as you are :)