Mid-November Alterations

Last week at this time, I was naively sitting in a coffee shop, not knowing what the rest of the weekend would bring. Not 48 hours later was I preparing to send two of my Corps Members home. I panicked, of course, worried that this mass exodus would turn even more massive.

It has now been 4 days since I sent my team members home…and so far…things are running smoothly. In fact, I may even say that things are going well. The same day we saw our teammates off, we were given the last portion of our assignment at our location in Urbandale, Iowa. We have been (or at least I have been) too busy to even think about being sad about the absent members of our team. Did you notice I said “last portion” about our assignment? Well, I did…and guess what that means? A) We completed our assignment in Urbandale...and B) We have another new assignment J

Bayou 6 will be working in Jefferson City, Missouri for the second half of this deployment J This change of scenery, change of work, and change of atmosphere will be helpful to those team members who are truly broken from our team’s mini disintegration. I know that I am personally grateful (and unbelievably excited) because I get to work alongside some members of Team Green again. In fact, that’s all I can really think about right now.

Despite my giddiness…I am a bit concerned as well. Bayou 6 has been deployed alone for a month…and that was amazing for all of us. It turned teammates into friends and it allowed my Corps Members to see me as a normal human young adult…not just a rule enforcer, haha. We spent time together for the first time since our union…even if it was out of social necessity. But what will happen once we have two other teams to distract us? Will it bring us closer? Or will Bayou 6 time start to feel like an obligation with so many other social options around? And there’s the question of motivation—will my team still be able to uphold an air of enthusiasm with other teams who have been doing the same job for over a month around? Will I still be able to maintain my enthusiasm? I don’t think that anything about my leadership style will change…but this is really the first time I’ve wanted to spend time with my team…and other people. The balance will bring about a whole new challenge. One, I suppose, I am excited to embark on.

I’m about to have a social life…remind me what that is again? Team Green became the biggest group of best friends I’ve ever had in just shy of three months…and I’m about to have a taste of that back. I will be living in the same hotel and working at the same office as two of my favorite Team Leaders. I have been texting both of them non-stop this week ever since I heard the Jefferson City rumor. And now it’s no longer a rumor—it’s my reality.

My team leaves for Jefferson City Monday morning…we go straight to the office to get in-processed…and then the day will be over and I will get to embrace some of my favorite Team Leaders (and we will need to check into the hotel..)! I keep having this little daydream where I walk into the office and bolt across the room to give my friends the biggest hugs…but I know I can’t do that. It’s going to be challenging to maintain a professional attitude and express my joy upon our reunion. But that is a challenge for me to deal with on Monday. In the meantime…my team and I will be packing up our lives in Urbandale to prepare for our new adventure in Jefferson City.

Until next time…

Ps. I just realized something really cool…I will have lived in 5 different places in 4 different states in 6 months.

•          San Luis Obispo, CA
•          Lake Forest, CA
•          Vicksburg, MS
•          Urbandale, IA
•          Jefferson City, MO

I can’t wait to learn of all the places I will be living in the NEXT 6 months. I hope you all share my same excitement J

I Wasn't Prepared for This...

When I indulged in Team Leader Training and Corps Training Institute just a few months ago, they prepared me for a LOT of circumstances: Interpersonal conflicts, backlash from the team, handling the team when there isn’t much work to do, etc. I felt prepared and aware of just about every conflict that could possibly come up. Every conflict except these:

• How do I stay positive for my team…when other team members are quitting?
• How do I support my Corps Members moving on without accidentally encouraging the ones left that it’s okay for them to leave too?
• How do I maintain an “I care about your happiness” and “It’s unacceptable to bail on a commitment that you made” attitude simultaneously?

This past week has been challenging…to say the very least. I wish staying positive and encouraging for the remaining team members was as easy said as done. This challenge is brand new to me and everyone on my team. I know what I want the end goal to be. I want my team and me to be at peace with those who have chosen to pursue other endeavors, to keep the lines of communication open to how we are feeling about…everything, and create a mutual team effort of love, support, and encouragement. I learned very quickly last night that I cannot do this alone…but also that I do not have to. What an unbelievable relief.

I know that getting through these moments of fogginess, overcoming these fears, and truly stepping into my leadership role and encouraging others to step into theirs will make me the person I’ve always known I am capable of being. I’m terrified, truly, but I know I can do this. It may take a few days or it may take a few weeks…but my entire team will come out of this stronger. I know we will because I know everyone will step up…and not because I’m asking but because they are capable. Every last one of my team members is capable of greatness. Losing a few members may break our hearts…but this is our moment for growth as individuals, as leaders, and as a team.

I love my team—the ones who are staying and the ones that are moving on. I care so much about these young adults…more than I may ever care to admit. They break my heart, they challenge me, and they make me outstandingly proud. I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. 

My Accidental Happiness Project

After reading Gretchen Rubin’s “The Happiness Project”, I came to an interesting realization: I have been in the midst of an accidental “Happiness Project” for the past seven months. Looking on my first post back in May…I said this:

“I, much like you, have good days and bad days. I created this blog to remind myself every day that my life and everything in it is wonderful, even when it doesn't always feel like it. As of April 9, 2013, I began a daily “Highlights Journal”, inspired by my world traveling friend, David.

I started journaling because after my adventure with David in Europe, my collegiate life in San Luis Obispo started to feel deceivingly bland. I needed an activity that would help remind me how lucky I truly am for the life I am so privileged to have.”

-Shannon Conmy, May 26, 2013

I just finished the book this morning…and honestly, until I got to the end, I didn’t really appreciate it. The advice seemed obvious and redundant…but I realize now that perhaps it’s because I’ve already implemented so many of the little things into my life without even knowing it. Since April, I’ve been keeping a daily “Highlights Journal” (I’m almost through my entire first notebook!), I have chosen to embark in a year of selfless service with AmeriCorps, I have given up drinking alcohol, I try super extra hard to maintain a positive outlook on every situation for myself, my family and friends, and especially my team, I get to bed earlier, I read books on topics I’ve always been  interested in, and I do better to keep in touch with old friends, among many, many other things.

While some of the advice was not particularly fresh to me…there were a few things that stuck out as exciting new ideas and opportunities. I have them listed below J

•          Write a novel
•          Publish…something
•          Ride a hot air balloon
•          Laugh more!

There are definitely more tidbits of advice that stuck out…but I’ll have to go back and read my chicken scratch to tell you what they are. Mostly, I just want to encourage everyone to do what makes them happy. So far, I gotta tell you, it’s working for me.

Here's a picture that I hope makes you smile. Halloween was fun in the office: 

Have a wonderful day J

Some Things Happened in September

Since the beginning of my term as an AmeriCorps NCCC FEMA Corps Team Leader, a lot of my individual freedoms have been somewhat stripped. I am required to wear a uniform, I need to be on campus at certain hours, I have places to be at specific times, and I have a team to take care of, among other things. I have standards to uphold and rules to follow…but unlike most Corps Members, I do not feel constrained by these guidelines. I have actually found myself growing more in the past three months than I have in the past three years. The guidelines I am expected to uphold as a Team Leader are helping me make safer, smarter, and healthier decisions for my life. I get more sleep, read more books, spend less money, and create more meaningful relationships with those around me. I attribute a lot of this success to the fact that I have less time for myself…so I’m using it more wisely and what a wonderful transformation I have seen thus far. Below are a few things that helped me really feel like me this month:

Exercise, exercise, exercise.

September is the month that I discovered the close-by and beautiful look-out over the Mississippi River. Within about two weeks, I visited that look-out at least five times…with five different groups of people. Some days, I walked in conversation with fellow Team Leaders, other days, I ran it. Sometimes I travelled there with the intention of catching the sunset and other times, it was just a beautiful backdrop for the start of a beautiful day. This location…and the way I travelled to it…made for a perfect escape from responsibilities without being too out of touch of reality.

Ultimate Frisbee. Enough said.

Taking Time to Have a Conversation

I have recently begun telling myself “Any day I have a non-work related conversation is a good day.” This is a realization that actually brings me a large amount of sadness—so frequently I operate as “Team Leader Shannon” 24-hours straight and multiple days in a row.  It does make those few moments of honest, friendly indulgence even better, though. Finally, about halfway through September, I took the time to put off tomorrow’s responsibilities and stopped venting about daily aggravations to get to know one of my fellow Team Leaders better. We talked about our lack-of-love lives, friendships we have back home, and things we both do to maintain our sanity on a regular basis. It was refreshing and freeing to be someone’s friend again. Our opportunities to get to know each other better are few and far between now…but I’m grateful for those few hours I set aside to deepen a friendship.

Going to Church

As I’ve mentioned in past posts, I attend a church called Cedar Grove in Vicksburg, Mississippi. This is the first time in a long time that I have chosen to go to church as a member of the congregation…not as a member of the choir. It’s funny though…the reason, I’ve found, that I love this church so much is that everyone is a part of the choir. The music is all-consuming. I am intoxicated by the experience every week that I attend.

Bayou 6—“Sassy Six”

In the beginning of September, I had the joy of meeting my permanent team. For those of you who know me in any capacity, you know that I get really excited about certain things…and sometimes I make a fool of myself. Well, Team Reveal Day, I fulfilled both of those aspects of my personality. After anxiously awaiting the arrival of my new team, I announced that I was their permanent Team Leader! J Very soon after this revelation, I half-choked on the gluten-free cookies I made for them and drooled all over my shirt. Great first impression, Shan.

While my team is full of…personality…each and every member has an unbelievable amount of goodness in their heart. I am very lucky to say that I get along with all of my Corps Members; they all just don’t necessarily get along with one another all the time. Baby steps, right? September was challenging for this new team (but as of 95% of the way through October, team morale is “good”). J

FEMA Corps Class 20 Induction Ceremony

Wow. Just wow. This ceremony was beautiful. The AmeriChoir, organized by my lovely roommate, sounded incredible on the National Anthem, one of my Corps Members was the emcee (proud Team Leader moment), the Corps Member reflection speaker was hilarious, the AmeriCorps 20^th Anniversary video was inspirational, and the AmeriBand’s rendition of “Home” by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros had me sobbing like a baby—seriously, ask anyone. Another one of my Corps Member was the trumpet player in the song…so of course, when everyone cheered at her solo I cried even more. The five minutes in which the band played “Home”, my mind raced with pride for my team, for my positive decisions since beginning this program, I reflected on the friendships fostered during our months of training, and reveled in the unknowns of the coming year.

The Simple Serendipities

As always, there were wonderful things that happened this month that I couldn’t box in—I love when that happens. Here’s what made me smile this month:

Celebrating Accomplishments. One of my very dearest friends returned to the United States after a year of traveling the world. Yes, the world. Check out his blog here: www.thequestforawesome.com. I am so proud of you for following your heart and accomplishing your dream, David.

Rain. As it always does. There was one particular day this month that the rain was relentless. My team and I had to walk about 100 feet in the rain…really not that far, and every last one of us was soaked to the bone. I took a few moments longer outside stood with my arms outstretched and let the rain consume me. All my problems washed away. I felt brand new.

“I promise to ask for help” Contract. On a particularly challenging day with my team, a fellow Team Leader wrote a contract on a scrap piece of paper for both him and me. It is signed and dated. It’s such a small gesture…but it meant so much more than the verbal promise of: “Call if you ever need help”. I carry this piece of paper with me everywhere, just in case I need a little reminder to ask for help.

Camp Duncan Gray. Ah, the location of my best night’s sleep ever. This gorgeous campground is located in Canton, Mississippi next to a serene lake. Even with the insanity of training, feeding my team, managing conflicts, and clearing trails…I felt peacefulness every time I laid eyes on the neighboring lake. The combination of creaking crickets, endlessly starry night skies, and the reflections of the lake made me never want to leave.

Momma Visited! My mother has always shown me a ridiculous amount of support in every last thing I do. Her coming all the way out to Mississippi was yet another one of her ways to show how much she loves, supports, and misses me. We went out to dinners just the two of us, she met some of my closest friends I’ve made through this program, she met my team, we talked for hours on end, and she just did Mom things. I felt taken care of. It was perfect. Thank you again, Mom. 

The First Week in Iowa

My team and I arrived in Urbandale, Iowa last weekend! While our two days of driving were long and exhausting, we did stop for delicious (and gluten-free!) food at the very least. Already, in the first week of inhabiting Iowa, I have discovered people, grocery stores, and restaurants in the area that actually understand what “gluten-free” means. What a huge relief! Mississippi was an unrealistic representation of the rest of the United States, thankfully.

Last weekend was the first official weekend of our deployment…and my goodness was it hard for me. My team is finally hanging out (without me urging them to) so I was incredibly grateful…but I was also incredibly lonely. Unlike the majority of FEMA Corps Southern Region teams, I am one of the two teams that were deployed alone. As I’m sure you all recognize from past posts—the group of Team Leaders (Team Green) is my undying support system…and now I am entirely without them. Yes, each and every one of them is just a phone call away (and yes, I have already abused that), but there is no longer someone welcoming me home with a “How was your day? Do you want to talk about it?”

My first night in Urbandale was a lonely one and significantly more challenging than I expected it could possibly be. I longed for a Team Leader to talk with, to distract me, to make me laugh, to remind me that being a Team Leader isa challenge, that I will be lonely, and that I can get through it. Maybe I didn’t have someone comforting me in the flesh in precisely my moments of doubt, but a few Team Leaders reached out shortly thereafter, and I am eternally grateful. So yeah, the first weekend was hard, but I have my Team Green support no matter where I am and no matter where they go. It was so refreshing to confirm that already, first weekend out.

The first weekend of loneliness taught me two very important things: 1) I’m not invincible and 2) I need to come up with productive, consuming, alone-time activities. The day after I learned these lessons my team and I attended the last day of an awesome book sale. I bought eight books for only $4.50! So not only did I get to splurge on books (my favorite)…but I have plenty of hours of reading materials now (alone time activity!!).

So now we’re nearing the end of our second weekend in Urbandale and let me tell you, I haven’t had even a second for loneliness in this past week. Between the 8-hour work days, post-work one-on-ones, grocery shopping trips, campus check-ins, daily chit-chats with mom, physical training, team meetings, volunteering at local events, and reading my new psychology book (totally nerdy, I know)…I hardly have time to sleep let alone think about how I’m the only Team Leader in Iowa.

So after one week here, I can say this: I think I am going to really like it here. I am consumed nearly all the time, my rare alone time is precious and used wisely, Urbandale/Des Moines has a heck-of-a-lot more to offer than I would have ever expected, my team agreed that morale this week is “good” and I get my own room for five more days. I’m happy, the team is happy; all is well here in Urbandale.

Until next time…

The Exciting News of October 10th!

To those of you who frequent this blog often, I have exciting news for you! Everything in my last post about going to Virginia and Washington D.C. is temporarily void. I have a new assignment!!

Iowa

is my new assignment location! I will be working at the Joint Field Office in Urbandale, IA (just outside the state capital, Des Moines) until this whole government shut down thing gets itself worked out. A few months ago a series of severe storms, flooding, and tornadoes struck throughout the State of Iowa…so my team and I will be assisting the public in matters that have not yet been taken care of. It’s vague—yes, but to be totally honest…I’m not sure what all I’m allowed to say on the World Wide Web…so I say the more vague umbrella terms the better!! I’m just grateful that we are able to finally deploy and start doing the work we’ve been trained to do J

Here’s how I feel about the change in plans: “lsdkjflsknllskjflsdjf!!!! :D J :]”. In English, that roughly translates to: “I am excited beyond words and thriving in this adrenaline fueled adventure!!! :D :) :]” I never thought when I accepted this position six months ago that I would be handing all this dramatic change in such a positive way. I absolutely love it. It’s terrifying and full of unknowns…but shockingly, those are my favorite things about it. I have a feeling I’m going to be quite an adrenaline junkie once I’m completed with my term serving in AmeriCorps NCCC FEMA Corps (that name really never quickly flows off the tongue…).

We depart tomorrow morning at “9 am” after a series of room and kitchen inspections, room key turn ins, and last minute packing of the van. Now can you understand why I put it in quotes? We will be arriving in Urbandale, Iowa Saturday afternoon…with no set place to live yet. It is likely that we will not know our living situation until we’re there…but that’s the beauty of this job!

So here is to an endless amount of unknowns and unbelievable amounts of excitement! Iowa, here I come!! J

The Last Day of CTI

Yesterday wrapped up the final day of Corps Training Institute (CTI) and FEMA Specific Training. And today marks 10 and ½ weeks of being here. Without a doubt, these past two and a half months have been the most challenging, tiresome, and gratifying weeks of my twenty-two-and-a-half years.  

Now I’ll share the information I know I have been dying to know since the moment I got here. Where is Bayou 6 going on their first assignment??

WINCHESTER, VIRGINIA

and

FEMA Headquarters in WASHINGTON, D.C.

The details are still a little bit sparse…but that’s the nature of the business—FEMA Flexible. We head North on the morning of Tuesday, October 8^th. I cannot begin to put my excitement into words…so I’ll save that for another post.

Here’s the real inspiration of this post: Last Night. On the night of October 4, 2013, after 4 weeks of getting to know all the good and bad parts of the TLs during Team Leader Training and 6 weeks of hearing each and every one of them complain, cry, and praise themselves and their Corps Members…we still loved each other enough to throw a kick-butt surprise birthday party and Team Green celebration. After a week of sneaky email threads, getting dressed up, and kidnapping the birthday boy the celebration was a complete success. We transformed the cafeteria into the scene of what looked like a small-scale high school prom, took hundreds of pictures, danced like complete fools, and spoke kind words about everyone in the room. It was the perfect end to the best ten and a half weeks of my life.

A few of the young recently graduated TL staff attended our rendezvous last night and kept saying “this is so funny” about our party. Of course, I was confused and quite curious so I asked them to indulge me in their reasoning. As a quick background, these three young staff have been TLs and/or working for AmeriCorps NCCC at the many campuses for the past four years. That means they have witnessed the dynamics of at least eight classes of Team Leaders. When they explained why they thought it was “funny” it was explained to me that they have never in all their years seen a group of 30 individuals as close as we are…even after all the trials and tribulations we’ve had over the past many weeks. Over the past 6 weeks of CTI, every staff member has shared how impressed they are by this class of Team Leaders…but it wasn’t until last night after hearing it from someone that had once been in my shoes…did it truly sink in. I don’t think the past few months and meetings of accolades have been boosts to our egos or false senses of hope…FEMA Corps Class 20 Team Leaders truly are some of the best leaders the Vicksburg campus has seen walk through their doors. I, nor any of the Team Leaders here, take this compliment or this responsibility lightly. We do and will put all our effort and our best feet forward now until the end of our term in June. I cannot wait to see and hear about my fellow Team Leaders and my Corps Members growth in the coming months.