October: The Real Start of Life in Denver

September was a huge bummer. I started a new job and that was super exciting...but mostly I was just stressing out. October is when the pieces of the puzzle finally started falling together...and making a truly beautiful picture. 

The Absent Roommate

On October 1^st, Sam (the new roommate) and I showed the house to a boy that is in her same AmeriCorps program. Back when I found out Doug and Alex were leaving, I said “No boys and no pets” when I began the search. HA! Oh the irony. Kurt (definitely a male…and definitely the owner of a cat) moved in on October 5^th. It is now January when I write this…and I can confidently say that Sam and I could not have picked a better person to complete our trio. I’m grateful every day that things worked out the way they did.

The first night we all lived together, we ate an entire gluten-free pumpkin pie, split a bottle of wine, and watched Rent, my all-time-favorite musical that is a movie. These are my kind of people.

Personal Rejuvenation

The beginning of October was incredibly challenging. Not only did two of my closest friends leave…but something else entirely was missing. I’m no longer nurturing anything(/one). I know that may seem strange…but I am a nurturer through and through. I went from being a full-time caretaker for my AmeriCorps team and living with my boyfriend…to working with students who don’t care much about getting led or mentored, at all. I had (and still have) very few friends in Denver, let alone close ones, and it finally hit me—hard. Luckily, after finally pinpointing what was hurting me, I was able to move past it. And that’s when I realized that I have all the time in the world to take care of me! Eventually, the world won’t just revolve around me and my happiness alone…so I might as well take advantage of this personal strength, freedom, and opportunity while I can.

The day after this epiphany, I had the perfect day: I started off at yoga, went to a coffee shop for coffee, breakfast, and journaling, started building up my winter wardrobe, got my nails done, read a book, went on a wonderful walk around a labyrinth by my house, and cooked my favorite stew. I have never felt so peaceful. It is amazing how far a little acceptance can take you…

New Vocal Students

I have taken on two sisters for voice lessons, 10 and 14. They love Disney songs and musicals and they’re adorable. This was a match made in heaven. They feel like the little sisters I never had.

Yet Another Lockdown

Reminder: I work in an inner-city Denver school.

This is the second lockdown in 2 months. And this one actually freaked me out, a lot. I was heading out of the school to go to yoga right when they called it. I bolted back to Mi Casa since that was the closest classroom. I witnessed my boss pulling in three students from the hall and we all scurried to the window-less kitchen. We were locked down for 45-minutes and we, unfortunately, did not have time to grab the radio/walkie-talkie that every classroom has. We were completely oblivious to what was going on in the school. After the lockdown was over, I was seriously shaken up.

The next day, we were informed that there was a rumor that a student had a BB gun on campus. The lockdown was precautionary…but still, this was a threat within the building. My stomach is still in knots when I think about it.

Weekend in New York

Two days after Doug headed back to New York, we booked me a flight out for the 4-day weekend that was coming up for North High School. Half-way through October, I was headed to see my now-long-distance-boyfriend for the first time in a month. And let me tell you, it was the perfect weekend.

Saturday: While we were waiting to check into our Brooklyn Airbnb, we went to a gluten free bakery and got a piece of pumpkin cake…and we ate the most delicious Thai food I’ve ever had. I got the red curry with squash and somehow it was spicy and sweet simultaneously—incredible! That night, we got dinner and went back to the bnb to play charades and taboo, just the two of us.

Sunday: On our way into Manhattan the next day, I witnessed something beautiful. I will indulge a bit further in “The Simple Serendipities” section below. Just trust that it was good.

Once in Manhattan, we found this 100% gluten-free restaurant called “Risotteria”. Doug and I split a huge plate of pork shoulder risotto and a gluten-free prosciutto Panini. They brought by gluten-free breadsticks every time the bowl was emptied…and we kept them plenty busy. I was in gluten-free heaven! After lunch, we met up with one of Doug’s closest friends and his girlfriend at the Highline, the renovated section of Manhattan Railroad that is now a botanical gardens and beautiful little walk. Eventually, we agreed on going to a place called Keste Pizza where I fell immediately in love. I got their gluten-free pistachio pesto pizza. Yum. Afterward, we all got drinks at the Blind Tiger and once Doug’s friends departed, we found an awesome cocktail bar called Analogue. One of the drinks had plum red wine vinegar in it…so interesting.

Monday: I KNOW I SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE THIS…but…I ate New York bagels on this morning. I had to! You must understand my predicament. I’ve never had New York bagels and everyone everywhere tries to remake these mouth-watering inner tubes of excellence and I was THERE! In New York! This was my first opportunity…and I promised it would also be my last gluten-indulgence. So Doug and I split the following round pieces of heaven:

1.       Cinnamon raison bagel with pumpkin cream cheese

2.       Everything bagel with scallion cream cheese

3.       Whole wheat bagel with honey Nutella cream cheese

NO REGRETS…until the next day. Oh gosh they were so good.

Tuesday: Doug and I stopped at a coffee shop before the airport and played card games in the last moments of being together in 2014 (at least that’s what we thought at the time). It was fun and bittersweet. We really did have an incredible weekend together.

Halloween Things

I had the awesome opportunity to pass out candy to all the neighborhood kids at Downpours Coffee for Tennyson Trick-or-Treat Street 2014. I dressed up as Pippy Longstocking and had a smile plastered to my face for four hours straight. I loved every second of it.

The ladies of Mi Casa and I all decided to be punny this Halloween. Naturally, we dressed up as the Spice Girls: Cinnamon, Cardamom, Chili Powder, and Curry. We also may or may not have made up a dance to go to the Spice Girl’s hit, “Spice Up Your Life”. May or may not…

My roommates and I have doppelgangers: Velma, Daphne, and Shaggy from Scooby Doo. So, yeah, that happened, too.

The Simple Serendipities

Especially in the chaos of this Denver experiment, I need to look at the bright side of things. Luckily these things happen every single day. I haven’t had to look too hard.

This Little Light of Mine. So for starters, if you know me, you know I’m super-duper-extra emotional and this story will not shock you at all. If you don’t know me that well, I think this shines a lot of light on the kind of person I am.

Doug and I were sitting on the Subway into Manhattan when three men got on our train car. They sang “This Little Light of Mine” and collected passengers’ change for their performance. After a few train stops, but no pause in singing, they headed to the door. As one of the singing trio was walking off the train car, he saw the homeless woman with her cardboard sign and paper cup a few seats down from us. He took every penny that was put into his cup and placed it into hers.

I cried on a Subway in New York City. Beauty really is everywhere.

AmeriCorps Reunion. JOE!! J One of my close friends from AmeriCorps booked Halloween weekend in Denver. We spent the night laughing, drinking, and being merry. Not to mention, we were at the Ritz.

Network Connections. One of my voice students’ parents have offered me the opportunity to help with some marketing for the Child Psychiatry firm they run. Sure, okay! I can do that! 

This whole Denver thing is starting to shape up.

2015.

Here is my 2015 New Year's Resolution:

Say "Yes" More. 

What's yours?

Not quite homesick...but ready to be home.

I will be in Orange County (at home) from December 18th until December 28th. 

Let's hang out...seriously. 

I can't wait to be home and socialize and eat cookies and sleep and craft and read and be productive, too. See you all soon :)

The past 7 days have been overwhelming in both positive and negative extremes. I can't wait to get away from the chaos for a couple days and charge up for the 2015 that still holds about a million mysteries. 

Anyone have professional connections in Washington, DC or New York City in the non-profit sector? Let me know if you do, heading further East may be in my future...

"Letting Go"

Tonight I went to a yoga class at the gym. I don't normally go on Fridays...but somehow I had the motivation to do it this week...and boy, am I grateful? 

The theme for tonight was "Letting Go." During certain points of the practice the instructor would ask for us to think of something in our lives that we have been holding onto and let it go...or at least start to. This "thing" could be stress, tension in certain parts of our bodies, negative memories, hurtful people, hurtful situations, anything. If you would have asked me two months or three weeks ago or even last week...I promise I could have come up with a whole list of situations that I needed to let go. Don't get me wrong, I am sure there are still things that are cooped up somewhere that just weren't in the forefront of my mind this evening...but tonight I couldn't think of a damn situation or person that I haven't forgiven for causing me pain. 

I thought briefly about my year with AmeriCorps, past relationships, current ones, the unexpected Denver situation, broken promises, painful secrets, hurt feelings...but as quickly as these things came into my mind...they were just as quickly gone. 

You want to know what I let go of this evening? I let go of tension in my forehead.

I assume it's because I have truly let my pain simmer and time has continued to pass...but I'm really making a conscious effort to be happy here. Perhaps my experience this past Sunday is what helped this realization come along. Quick update: I decided to go to church for the first time in months this past Sunday. I was 1/3 the age of the majority of the congregation, it was a much different experience than I hoped for, and I think that about covers it. But in the weekly bulletin there was a quote/prayer written by Dr. Richard Halverson, past chaplain of the US Senate:

You go nowhere by accident. Wherever you go, God is sending you. Wherever you are, God has put you there; He has a purpose in your being there. Christ, Who indwells you has something He wants to do through where you are. Believe this and go in His grace and love and power. Amen. 

As most of you know, I'm not a ridiculously religious person...but I do believe there's a reason for everything. Denver. Denver, Denver, Denver. This is not what I expected of my experience here. But for some reason I moved here with two of my best friends, for some reason they left, for some reason I work at a coffee shop, with "at-risk" youth, and teach voice lessons. Somebody wants me to do something here. I'm here to make some impact. 

My jobs allow me to interact with dozens and dozens of people every single day. Every day I have the opportunity to make (probably over a hundred) people's days better. This past week is certainly the first time I've really thought about what a unique and powerful situation I find myself in. There is no doubt that I thought things would be different here in Denver...but I have stopped thinking-- finally--that they would have been better. It's been about two and a half months since my expectations were flushed down the toilet and I think I can finally say, at least today, that I find myself completely at peace. 

Halle-freaking-lujah...and Happy Friday, people. Go be totally content exactly as you are :)

September Struggles

As my few posts during the month of September alluded to...this Denver adventure didn't turn out exactly how I had hoped. I kept it to myself, for the most part, while it was occuring...but here is a slightly more detailed version of the goings-ons. I'm happy to say that things are significantly more stable than they were in September...but I am not going to pretend that writing this post did not bring up unwanted and painful emotions. Read away. 

Unforeseen Circumstances 

In the early hours of September 1^st, Doug informed me that he would be returning to New York in 10 days…with no guarantee of return. We both knew that this day might be coming…but we were thinking it’d be closer to January and with a return date. His decision to return home was made with love and a strong commitment to his family. While his absence is felt every day, I adore the reasons behind his decision. Unfortunately, though, Doug’s departure led to Alex searching for another place as well.

In a short three days, everything I wrote in this post felt completely invalid. Immediately, I felt naïve for thinking this adventure could turn out how I expected, betrayed, hurt, sad, worried, hopeless, unhappy, and so on. Throughout nearly all of September, I would feel all these emotions within moments of one another. The fantasy I painted for myself during AmeriCorps—moving to a big city with the best friends I met through my service year—shattered…just as quickly as the unbreakable bonds of Team Green formed. I still kick myself for getting my hopes up for the happy ending I wanted. How outrageous of me to think that the “FEMA Flexible” ingrained in my every day for the entire previous year would suddenly be extinct. Flexibility doesn’t just relate to AmeriCorps…is relates to every damn day…and especially every day when big changes are happening. And of course, big changes happened in moving to Denver. I officially moved out of my childhood home, I moved in with the boyfriend that I love very much, I am in a brand new state, I am for the first time (almost) completely supporting myself, and I am no longer in school. Enormous changes. Doug and Alex leaving just implemented a few new and unexpected challenges. “So be it,” I should have said.

My First Days with Students

Oh, the first day of programs at Mi Casa—the first day of the school year—felt a lot like a disaster. For those of you who know me well, you know that large groups of people I don’t know are outstandingly intimidating…regardless of their age. So yes, I was scared of talking to 14 to 18 year olds. Tease all you want…the struggle was real. Luckily, after just one week of working with these students, doing name games every day, and gathering their ideas for this year’s activities…I quickly gained their trust and felt at home.

Reconnecting with and Building my Network

The first Saturday after Doug’s departure, I kicked butt at socializing—not usually my most practiced skill. I reconnected with an old old friend whom I had Algebra with in the 7^th grade. We had a couple mutual friends in Junior High and High School…but mostly we were strangers passing in the night. He found out...through Facebook and this lovely little blog...that I would soon be residing in the same city as him. After being in Denver for nearly two months, we finally met up. Before we knew it, 5 hours passed. We had a million things to catch up on. I am so happy for the reunion. Now we just have to get another one set up…

Now onto expanding my network... In September, I met a woman (who gets coffee from Downpours) that owns her own trauma therapy practice. She works with sexual assault survivors, domestic abuse survivors, and habitually homeless individuals. I jumped at the chance to pick her brain. We met up for coffee one weekend and she offered me some ridiculously valuable advice. She said that if I wish to pursue her line of work, I should get a Master’s degree in either psychology or social work. Both courses of education offer endless career options upon completion. I hope to receive my Master’s degree one day. I will keep her advice stored safely away for when I decide I’m finally ready to hit the books again.

The Roommate Replacement Process

After two weeks of Craigslist correspondence regarding the two open rooms, I finally found someone to replace Doug’s old room. One down, one to go. Once Sam (the new roomie) moved in, we showed at least 13 people the house. Considering the housing market here, I did NOT expect this process to take so long. Yes, we were a little picky finding the right person to fill the upstairs room…but every single person (about 5 people) we offered it to declined. The prospect of finding someone by October 1^st was not looking good. And…it wasn’t. The upstairs room was empty, with no roommate in sight, on October 1^st. But I guess you’ll have to wait until the October post to find out how that upstairs room turned out…tehehe :)

The Simple Serendipities

Professional Flattery. Multiple times throughout September, I received emails from my former Point of Contact at FEMA Headquarters in Washington, DC. Every time an open position that I could be qualified was on her radar, she sent it my way…in addition to the promise of putting in a good word for me. In one of her emails she said “We need people with your energy and enthusiasm working for the federal government!” I applied to every last one.

Borrowing Lisa's Bicycle. My friend Lisa was out of town for a week and offered to let me borrow her bike while she was gone. I don’t know where she came up with that idea…but it was gold. I rode the bike to and from Downpours every day (only about 1 flat mile roundtrip) and even biked to North High School a few times (4 hilly miles roundtrip). I felt so in shape and comfortable riding by the end of that week. Now I just have to get me my own…

I’m Weird. One of my most challenging students called me weird. I know it sounds crazy that this is groundbreaking…but it is. This individual hardly talks to the people who work at Mi Casa at all…let alone feels comfortable enough to tease. I guess learning all the words to “In the End” by Linkin Park via karaoke in the 6^th grade really paid off. Good planning, 12-year-old Shannon (and Elyse-- remember that??).

Yoga. Ever since Doug left, I’ve gotten my butt to the gym for yoga so many times. It makes for a wonderful way to end my day and start my weekend. I felt stronger this month than I ever have.

August Accomplishments

July was all about getting settled and making sure I had some sort of income so I wasn’t blowing through all my savings. August was about finding more permanent and more meaningful work. Luckily, I found both. Check it out.

The Colorado State Capitol Building. 

Juggling Three Jobs

As I mentioned in my July post, I got a job as a barista in the middle of July. Awesome. I still work there…but unfortunately the whole marketing thing hasn’t quite taken off yet. I’m not actually too upset about it…because listen to this. I have 3 jobs. Yes, three. I moved here with absolutely no work, hardly any network, and no place to live yet, here I am succeeding. I definitely won.

Well now I must tell you about my new jobs. On August 3^rd, I had a Skype interview with a company called University of Rock as an independent contractor vocal coach. I felt super awkward during the interview and didn’t invest too much hope in it ending with a job. But lo and behold, I was given a chance. I was tentatively “hired” and given the address of my first two students. My fate with University of Rock would be decided from how these first two lessons went. And guess what? They went great. I signed on as an official teacher with University of Rock.

Remember that “Video of Recommendation” I kept emailing some of you about and posting about on Facebook? Uhm, yeah, that worked. The first (and only) non-profit I used the video of recommendation for resulted in an interview. One thing led to another and now I am the Afterschool Program Facilitator with Mi Casa Resource Center at North High School this school year. Wow, that was a mouthful.

You’re probably wondering how I can juggle three jobs. But check out how cool this is…here is my daily schedule, basically. I'm working my tail off...but the scheduling can't get much better than that. 

                7:00am – 12:00pm         Downpours Coffee

                1:30pm – 5:30pm           Mi Casa Neighborhood Center

                6:00pm – 8:00pm           University of Rock

The Reality of Working in a School

On day two of training with Mi Casa, there was a full blown lockdown at Lake Middle School (where we were training that day). I’m not even going to pretend that it didn’t scare the poop outta me. With all the shootings and especially school shootings lately, my heart nearly stopped beating. I may have come home from training that day and cried…but you know what? It’s a reality I must and do accept with this position. I’m now grateful that scare occurred so early in the school year.

Denver Scavenger Dash

After all our job searching ending in both failures and successes, Doug and I decided to get out and do something FUN. It had been a good long time since we actually did that…so why not. I signed us up for this annual Scavenger Dash (apparently they do them all over the US in big cities). I made us shirts, took a bunch of pictures (it was mandatory for the event), and figured out how far we walked. 

Our legend...wait for it...dary tshirts.

Do yoga poses in front of a yoga studio: check.

We ended up walking approximately 9 miles by the end of the dash!!

The Simple Serendipities

My Best Friend’s Wedding. My Week of Welcome “Co”, the beatboxer for my college a cappella group, my best friend – whatever you want to call him – got married the beginning of the month. He and his bride looked stunning and happy and I am so thrilled for them both. This occasion also served as a beautiful reunion for me, Julie, and Joe…our ever so famous and reckless college trio. I really can’t handle my alcohol like I used to…

Party Table.

Because nothing has changed. 

How I Met Your Mother. This isn’t actually a positive topic. If you’ve watched all 9 seasons of How I Met Your Mother like I have…you’ll understand why the end of Season 9 really bugged. I cried so much I was so sad how things turned out. If you’ve seen this, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

The Most Badass Man I’ve Ever Met. Doug and I got a mad craving for ice cream when we were right next to a Walmart. Normally I try to run as fast as I can in the other direction of Walmarts…but I’m glad we didn’t this time. We met the most incredible, lively, grateful, and inspiring 90-year-old man in the checkout. He saw our ice cream and immediately struck up a conversation about his sweet tooth. Eventually he ended up telling us about his two life philosophies. They are as follows:

1. Have the most fun you absolutely can but never at the cost of someone else's.
2. Help others; Help them be happy and you will find that it will directly contribute to your number one. 

Of course I cried as we walked out of Walmart. It was the most honest and joyful I have ever seen someone in my entire life. His attitude is all he really has...but it cloaks him in a happiness that so many never feel. His gratefulness was positively infectious. I think we could all take a lesson from him. 

Welcome back to the Blogosphere, Shannon.

So, obviously I haven’t written in a while...I feel the need to explain. I need to explain to the people who are looking for updates and not receiving them and I need to explain to myself. It’s taken me a while to even realize how much I have slacked on this personal writing project. The easy to understand explanation is that my blog was made mostly to document my AmeriCorps experience. AmeriCorps has been done for nearly 5 months already…so maybe that is why the posts have stopped. But I know all too well that that’s hardly a reason at all. I haven’t been writing…because I haven’t been that happy. This adventure of moving to Denver was supposed to turn out a lot differently than it has…and I think I’m just taking a bit longer than usual to adjust to this kink in my plans.

Don’t get me wrong—wonderful things are happening in Denver. Plenty of things, in fact, that would excite you, make you proud and perhaps even make you desire to pack up your life without a plan and become as successful as I have. Seriously, that is how good things are going. Textbook Shannon is rockin’ and rollin’. It’s everything underneath the surface, the emotions wrapped up in all the twists and turns, the version of me that writes this blog that isn’t glowing with success.

“When life gives you lemons, don’t forget the sweet stuff” is the cheesy little tagline I have on The Simple Serendipities banner. I know it seems faulty to only write to all of you about the “sweet stuff” but really, my blog is riddled with sour, I’m just always able to overcome it and write about what I’ve learned and why all the ugly stuff was worth it. I'm not totally clear on why all this is "worth it" yet. 

Quickly, I’ll explain my process of writing these monthly posts:

1. I have a daily journal which I try (and lately have failed) to write in about the big things that happened that day.
2.  At the end of the month, I go through all the days of the month and I highlight the events that still stick out to me as most important.
3. I try to put all these highlights into pretty little categories (ie. AmeriCorps, Visiting Home for Christmas, etc).
4. And then I write that month’s post.

Two BIG, IMPORTANT steps have been frequently missing from my process. Number 1, because I’m so busy and don’t take the time to actually write about my days. And Number 2, because sometimes there are gaps in my journal I feel discouraged by…and sometimes because there is not-so-happy stuff that I immediately re-live when I read about it. I don’t want to have to make up my days…nor do I want to thrust myself back into the heat of the moment of them (considering their nature lately).

I feel, now, by telling you – the abyss of the internet and the few readers who still may be interested in this poorly orchestrated blog—I will become a bit more accountable for sucking it up and doing what I say I’m going to do. I need to forget for 5 seconds that this blog isn’t a chore, it’s a goal I implemented to help me remain positive…and to remain a writer even after all the college essays and poems were no longer required. Yes, this blog is meant to update you…because Lord knows we probably don’t live in the same place anymore with all of my mobility the past year and a half…but mostly, this blog is for me. I love words. I love writing, thinking, reflecting, and being positive. So why not give myself the gift of this project? It always does me more good than harm. Perhaps it does the same for you.

I hope to crank out my August highlights (eek, that was a long time ago) within the next 7 days. Feel free to harass me if I don’t follow through.

Happy Hump Day, all.

I’m back!