Do your thing, Fate.

I have officially applied for that dream job. Fingers crossed that I am the right person applying at the right time. Now all I must do is wait.

And write my novel. No more procrastination excuses-- darn.




Prayers and good vibes are always accepted here. I'll keep everyone posted :)

Writer's Block

You guys, I have writer's block. But it's the best writer's block I've ever had. 

I found my dream job. 

I am dedicating literally all the time I put aside for book writing in the next few days to edit my resume and write a killer cover letter to make me  highlight my super extra badass-ness. Don't worry, the book is still happening. But dream job-- Am I right? I was forewarned that exciting things would distract me from my novel. At least this novel is kicking me in the pants to take a risk on a job I would love to have. 

Can I get an "Amen"??

AMEN!

Now off to more responsible things. I'm just so excited, I had to tell someone! Maybe the whole internet world was a little overkill..... ;)

Goodbye Love, Hello Novel

Today was the best worst day. 

It was the best because I told myself that I was going to write a novel and I would start today and I actually did. At this specific moment in time, I am 1,864 words into that endeavor. 

It was the worst because I had to say goodbye, yet again, to Doug. This is the first time he came out to Denver to visit me, and truthfully, I wish I had gone to see him. I feel like seeing him, like with seeing some of my best friends and especially my family, almost causes a relapse in my independent progress. I am fairly alone in Denver, making friends is not my main priority at this point in my life-- work is, and I accept that. But seeing my father, mother, brother, best friend, boyfriend...it changes my experience here. I would rather escape my reality and experience love elsewhere rather than have love so temporarily intertwined in my lonely workaholic Denver life. 

And so my novel ties back in. Maybe it's a healthy decision, maybe it's not...but I'm fully aware that this novel is going to be a surrogate relationship for those I am currently and always missing. In No Plot? No Problem! by Chris Baty, one of his biggest suggestions is to write characters you like and want to spend time with because you will be with them every day for this journey. Kind of sad that I am excited about the characters that blossom from my conscious and subconscious imaginations, huh? 

The way I optomistically see it, is this year is about self-growth and doing things that I truly want to do. I wanted to network, I do that all the time at the coffee shop. I wanted to work in non-profit, I work for a well renown Denver nonprofit everyday. I wanted to teach voice lessons, I now have four enthusiastic students. I wanted to write a novel, I started one today. I just saw a dumb little Buzzfeed article about Ellen Degeneres Quotes in honor of her birthday and one of them is this:

The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy by yourself and for yourself.

So maybe I'm doing things right...or maybe I'm doing things horribly wrong. All I do know is that I have already accomplished so many of my dreams this year, why not continue even if a lot of the reason is to distract me from what's missing? 

I'm struggling today as I am sure I will do intermittently for quite a while. All I can hope is that all of this energy I am putting into work and this long distance relationship and bettering myself will all be worth it in some way someday. I truly hope that someday is soon.  

Things I'd Like to Possess One Day

I had a really interesting conversation with one of my challenging students today about pipe organs. That being said...it got me thinking about the few material things I would like to possess one day. They are as follows:

1. A house with a front porch
2. A piano
3. A big ol' heavy functioning typewriter

Alright. Just figured I'd let everyone know. Happy Tuesday! :)

My Personal National Novel Writing "Month"

The Month-Long Novelist Agreement and Statement of Understanding

(as taken from here). 

I hereby pledge my intent to write a 50,000-word novel in one month’s time.

By invoking an absurd, month-long deadline on such an enormous undertaking,

I understand that notions of “craft,” “brilliance,” and “competency” are

to be chucked right out the window, where they will remain, ignored, until

they are retrieved for the editing process. I understand that I am a talented

person, capable of heroic acts of creativity, and I will give myself enough time

over the course of the next month to allow my innate gifts to come to the surface,

unmolested by self-doubt, self-criticism, and other acts of self-bullying.

During the month ahead, I realize I will produce clunky dialogue, clichéd

characters, and deeply flawed plots. I agree that all of these things will

be left in my rough draft, to be corrected and/or excised at a later point. I

understand my right to withhold my manuscript from all readers until I deem

it completed. I also acknowledge my right as author to substantially inflate

both the quality of the rough draft and the rigors of the writing process should

such inflation prove useful in garnering me respect and attention, or freedom

from participation in onerous household chores.

I acknowledge that the month-long, 50,000-word deadline I set for

myself is absolute and unchangeable, and that any failure to meet the deadline,

or any effort on my part to move the deadline once the adventure has

begun, will invite well-deserved mockery from friends and family. I also

acknowledge that, upon successful completion of the stated noveling objective,

I am entitled to a period of gleeful celebration and revelry, the duration

and intensity of which may preclude me from participating fully in workplace

activities for days, if not weeks, afterward.

signed: Shannon Conmy                                   date: January 11, 2015

novel start date: January 26, 2015        novel deadline: February 28, 2015

October: The Real Start of Life in Denver

September was a huge bummer. I started a new job and that was super exciting...but mostly I was just stressing out. October is when the pieces of the puzzle finally started falling together...and making a truly beautiful picture. 

The Absent Roommate

On October 1^st, Sam (the new roommate) and I showed the house to a boy that is in her same AmeriCorps program. Back when I found out Doug and Alex were leaving, I said “No boys and no pets” when I began the search. HA! Oh the irony. Kurt (definitely a male…and definitely the owner of a cat) moved in on October 5^th. It is now January when I write this…and I can confidently say that Sam and I could not have picked a better person to complete our trio. I’m grateful every day that things worked out the way they did.

The first night we all lived together, we ate an entire gluten-free pumpkin pie, split a bottle of wine, and watched Rent, my all-time-favorite musical that is a movie. These are my kind of people.

Personal Rejuvenation

The beginning of October was incredibly challenging. Not only did two of my closest friends leave…but something else entirely was missing. I’m no longer nurturing anything(/one). I know that may seem strange…but I am a nurturer through and through. I went from being a full-time caretaker for my AmeriCorps team and living with my boyfriend…to working with students who don’t care much about getting led or mentored, at all. I had (and still have) very few friends in Denver, let alone close ones, and it finally hit me—hard. Luckily, after finally pinpointing what was hurting me, I was able to move past it. And that’s when I realized that I have all the time in the world to take care of me! Eventually, the world won’t just revolve around me and my happiness alone…so I might as well take advantage of this personal strength, freedom, and opportunity while I can.

The day after this epiphany, I had the perfect day: I started off at yoga, went to a coffee shop for coffee, breakfast, and journaling, started building up my winter wardrobe, got my nails done, read a book, went on a wonderful walk around a labyrinth by my house, and cooked my favorite stew. I have never felt so peaceful. It is amazing how far a little acceptance can take you…

New Vocal Students

I have taken on two sisters for voice lessons, 10 and 14. They love Disney songs and musicals and they’re adorable. This was a match made in heaven. They feel like the little sisters I never had.

Yet Another Lockdown

Reminder: I work in an inner-city Denver school.

This is the second lockdown in 2 months. And this one actually freaked me out, a lot. I was heading out of the school to go to yoga right when they called it. I bolted back to Mi Casa since that was the closest classroom. I witnessed my boss pulling in three students from the hall and we all scurried to the window-less kitchen. We were locked down for 45-minutes and we, unfortunately, did not have time to grab the radio/walkie-talkie that every classroom has. We were completely oblivious to what was going on in the school. After the lockdown was over, I was seriously shaken up.

The next day, we were informed that there was a rumor that a student had a BB gun on campus. The lockdown was precautionary…but still, this was a threat within the building. My stomach is still in knots when I think about it.

Weekend in New York

Two days after Doug headed back to New York, we booked me a flight out for the 4-day weekend that was coming up for North High School. Half-way through October, I was headed to see my now-long-distance-boyfriend for the first time in a month. And let me tell you, it was the perfect weekend.

Saturday: While we were waiting to check into our Brooklyn Airbnb, we went to a gluten free bakery and got a piece of pumpkin cake…and we ate the most delicious Thai food I’ve ever had. I got the red curry with squash and somehow it was spicy and sweet simultaneously—incredible! That night, we got dinner and went back to the bnb to play charades and taboo, just the two of us.

Sunday: On our way into Manhattan the next day, I witnessed something beautiful. I will indulge a bit further in “The Simple Serendipities” section below. Just trust that it was good.

Once in Manhattan, we found this 100% gluten-free restaurant called “Risotteria”. Doug and I split a huge plate of pork shoulder risotto and a gluten-free prosciutto Panini. They brought by gluten-free breadsticks every time the bowl was emptied…and we kept them plenty busy. I was in gluten-free heaven! After lunch, we met up with one of Doug’s closest friends and his girlfriend at the Highline, the renovated section of Manhattan Railroad that is now a botanical gardens and beautiful little walk. Eventually, we agreed on going to a place called Keste Pizza where I fell immediately in love. I got their gluten-free pistachio pesto pizza. Yum. Afterward, we all got drinks at the Blind Tiger and once Doug’s friends departed, we found an awesome cocktail bar called Analogue. One of the drinks had plum red wine vinegar in it…so interesting.

Monday: I KNOW I SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE THIS…but…I ate New York bagels on this morning. I had to! You must understand my predicament. I’ve never had New York bagels and everyone everywhere tries to remake these mouth-watering inner tubes of excellence and I was THERE! In New York! This was my first opportunity…and I promised it would also be my last gluten-indulgence. So Doug and I split the following round pieces of heaven:

1.       Cinnamon raison bagel with pumpkin cream cheese

2.       Everything bagel with scallion cream cheese

3.       Whole wheat bagel with honey Nutella cream cheese

NO REGRETS…until the next day. Oh gosh they were so good.

Tuesday: Doug and I stopped at a coffee shop before the airport and played card games in the last moments of being together in 2014 (at least that’s what we thought at the time). It was fun and bittersweet. We really did have an incredible weekend together.

Halloween Things

I had the awesome opportunity to pass out candy to all the neighborhood kids at Downpours Coffee for Tennyson Trick-or-Treat Street 2014. I dressed up as Pippy Longstocking and had a smile plastered to my face for four hours straight. I loved every second of it.

The ladies of Mi Casa and I all decided to be punny this Halloween. Naturally, we dressed up as the Spice Girls: Cinnamon, Cardamom, Chili Powder, and Curry. We also may or may not have made up a dance to go to the Spice Girl’s hit, “Spice Up Your Life”. May or may not…

My roommates and I have doppelgangers: Velma, Daphne, and Shaggy from Scooby Doo. So, yeah, that happened, too.

The Simple Serendipities

Especially in the chaos of this Denver experiment, I need to look at the bright side of things. Luckily these things happen every single day. I haven’t had to look too hard.

This Little Light of Mine. So for starters, if you know me, you know I’m super-duper-extra emotional and this story will not shock you at all. If you don’t know me that well, I think this shines a lot of light on the kind of person I am.

Doug and I were sitting on the Subway into Manhattan when three men got on our train car. They sang “This Little Light of Mine” and collected passengers’ change for their performance. After a few train stops, but no pause in singing, they headed to the door. As one of the singing trio was walking off the train car, he saw the homeless woman with her cardboard sign and paper cup a few seats down from us. He took every penny that was put into his cup and placed it into hers.

I cried on a Subway in New York City. Beauty really is everywhere.

AmeriCorps Reunion. JOE!! J One of my close friends from AmeriCorps booked Halloween weekend in Denver. We spent the night laughing, drinking, and being merry. Not to mention, we were at the Ritz.

Network Connections. One of my voice students’ parents have offered me the opportunity to help with some marketing for the Child Psychiatry firm they run. Sure, okay! I can do that! 

This whole Denver thing is starting to shape up.