How Thanksgiving Turned Out :)

Yesterday morning, I woke up before the sun. I got to spend my first couple hours awake with my lovely Corps Member Kylie on the easy, relaxing, and even-a-little beautiful drive to St. Louis. The conversation was as lush as it always was. I’m so grateful that I have someone on my team that I truly can call a friend. I was definitely reminded yesterday how wonderful friendship is…especially when my opportunity to entertain that relationship is so rare lately. I’m grateful for all the friends I’ve made in the past months, in my years of college, in Take it SLO, through Cal Poly’s Orientation Programs, and the majority of my life spent in Lake Forest.

After dropping my Corps Member off at the airport, I accidentally got a little lost in St. Louis. “Those with a bad sense of direction see more of the world” was my mantra yesterday. I walked around the city and was able to take in a whole bunch of the Thanksgiving Day Parade floats and wished nearly every stranger I passed by a “Happy Thanksgiving”. Originally, I had hoped to watch the parade, get some food, maybe go see a movie, or go to church…but then I realized that I didn’t want any of that at all. I wanted my family. I spent almost my entire time in St. Louis on the phone with my mom at the beautiful park near the famous St. Louis Gateway arch. The view was gorgeous and the conversation was as if my mother was sitting directly across from me. To be quite honest, I couldn’t have imagined a better use of my day. I really just needed a chance to be away from my Ameri-life, to be outside, and to connect with my family.

The best part of my day…is that the beauty of it didn’t stop when I left St. Louis. On the ride home, my Dad’s, brother’s, and my favorite Christmas song came on the radio: Santa Claus is Coming to Town by The Boss. I blasted the radio, treated the steering wheel as a drum set, and sang my lungs out. It was as if my two favorite men were right beside me.

When I returned to the hotel, all my Corps Members were hanging out…AND they were cooking Thanksgiving dinner. We all indulged in a painfully filling feast of ham, green bean casserole, scalloped potatoes, and stuffing (but I didn’t eat this item, of course).  They even joined me in my Conmy Family tradition: watch a Christmas movie J Luckily my Corps Member is as big a fan of Elf as I am…we pre-emptively quoted the movie the entire time.

I think it is safe to say that I had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Considering I was away from the people I love most…I had the absolute best day I could have had. I am incredibly grateful for my ability to be positive throughout the day, for the extensive conversation I had with my mother, for my caring and supportive Corps Members, and for my family for instilling so many traditions of love in my heart.  I’m thankful, too, more than I ever could have imagined if I wasn’t in this program, that I even have a home and family to miss.

So thank you, again, to my family for showing me so much love throughout my life. I am blessed to have a life I miss so terribly. I wouldn’t miss it if I wasn’t so in love with it.

I hope everyone had a memorable Thanksgiving and truly gave thanks this year. Don’t forget to tell the ones you love just how much you do. I promise it is as good to give love as it is to receive it.

Happy Holidays, everyone J

p.s. 24 days until I get to hug my mom, dad, and brother and sleep in my own bed! THE ANTICIPATION IS KILLING ME! J

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone! :)

So let’s definitely start off with the super-duper positive here. Back in April, I committed myself to writing in my Daily Highlights Journal every day. Today, on November 27, 2013, I filled out the last page of my first ever completed notebook. Even throughout my time as a student, I don’t think I can say that I have ever completely filled a notebook with words…or sketches…or numbers or ANYTHING. This, I think, is a huge accomplishment in itself. I committed myself to this journal, to bettering myself, to keeping more positive and grateful…and look at me now—I did it…and I’m about to do it again (and again and again, hopefully).

With the completion of this notebook, I’ve become incredibly nostalgic (the timing is also matching up with the first holiday I will spend without my family…but I’ll address that later). This notebook accounts for every exciting moment of my life in the past almost seven months. It spans from April 8^th to November 27^th this year, it’s traveled with me all over the United States, and it contains some huge life events. What should also be included under the “life events” category is something along the lines of “I’m beginning to learn who I really am and what I really want for myself and others in this world.” It is obviously still a work in progress (I truly believe everyone’s is), but the past four months have been especially enlightening for me. Because of my dedicated documentation, I will hopefully be able to reminisce, learn from, and reflect on all my many mistakes and victories in these past months.

Onto the less warm, fuzzy feeling stuff…Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I am in the Middle Of Nowhere, Missouri without my family. My friend who spent last year’s holiday season away from all things familiar said “I’m sure you will do it too and realize it’s not that big of a deal” when I commended him on his ability to handle the loneliness of being away from family, friends, and home on Thanksgiving and Christmas last year. To that I responded: “It won’t be a big deal once it’s over. But it’s a big deal to me right now.” You know what, I hate that. I know that in one week I will have “survived” Thanksgiving without my family and I will be one week closer to seeing my family for the Christmas holiday. So why can’t tomorrow just feel like a normal Thursday? My brain accepts tomorrow as just another Thursday—another day of being a Team Leader—but my heart and my emotions are just not having it. I’m sad I’m deployed without other Team Leaders again, I’m jealous of my Corps Members who get to see their families, and I’m ready to take care of just myself (even just for a day).

Despite my melancholy, I have devised a plan to hopefully manipulate myself into happiness…or at least, peacefulness. Tomorrow morning, I will be driving my Corps Member to the airport in St. Louis, two hours away. After I drop her off I plan to do at least one of these three things: 1) Watch the St. Louis Thanksgiving Day Parade 2) Go to the movies to see “Frozen” and/or 3) Attend a church service before returning to my hotel with the remaining four members of my team. If I’m going to be driving out of my way to a big city, I might as well take advantage of it, right? I hope to dress warm enough to walk around, take pictures, and soak in this brand new environment—even if just for a short time. A large reason I signed up for this job was to see the United States…so that is exactly what I will do. And for that, I am THANKFUL.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you who will be celebrating with your families and friends, to those who are away from them, and to those in new and unfamiliar places. If I can do this, you can do this. Someone out there is thankful for you…so don’t forget to be thankful too.

On a mushy, emotional note, I want to give out a few shout-outs to people I am thankful for:

Mom—You have always been my rock, you have never faltered in being the best Mom I could have ever asked for. Thank you for your constant encouragement and reminders that you love me. That means more to me than I think I'll ever fully realize. 

Dad—Over this past year we have gotten much closer and it is one of my most beautiful and valued friendships. Thank you for always being my source of positivity and motivation. I hope to be as good a daughter to you and Mom as you are to your parents-- it's a relationship I truly admire. 

Daniel—I have been missing you so much lately. Thank you for always answering my phone calls, text messages, and goofy snapchats. You are one of the most down-to-earth, genuinely kind, and giving people I have ever met…sometimes I can’t believe we share the same genes.

Team Green—I don’t even know where to begin with you all. Thank you for not judging me when I was my weepy, emotional self throughout TLT, for being my rocks when challenging Team Leader moments come up, and for being my constant sources of inspiration. I know each of you is capable of greatness. I’m so proud of you for your selfless commitment to this program. You are all the perfect combination of insane and invincible and I wouldn't have it any other way. I count down the moments until I get to embrace each of you again J

Bayou 6—Thank you, those still on the team and those not, for challenging me every day. By trying to solve your conflicts, I have learned more about myself and have been able to grasp even better why I am here as your Team Leader. I love all of you—I really, really do. You drive me insane (and I know this feeling is mutual), but when it comes down to it, I’d do anything for you. Thank you for helping me develop patience and practice my leadership skills out on all of you. Bayou 6—SASSY SIX! *snap*

Dave—I would like to think that I would be in this life-changing job without your encouragement…but I just don’t know if that is true. Thank you for helping me realize my need and desire for adventure, for challenging me to solve problems, and for putting up with my occasional B.S. From the moment I met you, I knew you would change my life. Thank you for the memories, the love, the support, and the laughter you have given me this past year.

Emma—Thank you for being a constant source of joy in my life, for being an introvert with me, and for giving me the best memories of my senior year. I am so proud of you for your unfaltering desire for greatness, especially when it comes to your education. You are beautiful, perfectly weird, and will forever be: my coworker <3

All my friends and family (sorry I’m not typing out any more individual ones)—You all have seen me at some of my best moments and worst ruts of my life. Thank you for loving me through it all. I know I have a bad habit of not being in touch with hardly anyone…so please, call me out on it. I want to maintain and grow the many beautiful friendships I have developed over the years. Just because I’m a not-so-good-long-distance-friend doesn’t mean I don’t think about you or love you any less.

Okay…I think that is enough mush for one post. But let’s be real, if you want to message me…I guarantee I have something heartfelt to say to you, too. I realized that about myself this week…uplifting other people in their moments of doubt is where I get my energy. Help me help you. You are beautiful, meant to be exactly where you are, and are worthy of love. Happy Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for this year? 

October: The Beginning of Life on the Road

October was the “true” beginning of my job with AmeriCorps. My team and I found out our first deployment location….twice, we drove away from the place we all began to call our home, and we were separated from the support systems that were fostered throughout Team Leader Training and Corps Team Institute. October was the month of big changes and even bigger challenges. But October was also the month where Bayou 6 began its transformation from team to family. As always, here are the highlights of the highlights from my month. I am grateful for every last one of them.

Team Green

October was the last time I saw Team Green its entirety. The last Friday night we all had together, we threw a surprise birthday party for one of the Team Leaders. It was the most wonderful night. You can read about it here…and check out the wonderful pictures below J

Four of the wonderful women of Bayou :)

This is Doug. He lets me dance silly with him.

Team Green. Enough said.

Bayou 6

As I mentioned earlier, this is the month that my team finally began its transformation from teammates to family. Bayou 6 was thrust into the middle of Iowa…alone…in the midst of the disagreements we always found ourselves in. Anything Bayou 6 could disagree about, they did: where to eat, what kind of music to listen to, the correct temperature of the van…everything. Being the only team sent to Iowa caused a change in all of us that I could never have seen coming. Because there weren’t other friend options around, they spent time together. Instead of throwing fits about how we do grocery shopping, we sat and had a constructive conversation to come up with plausible (and successful) solutions. Instead of speaking every negative thing on our minds, we held our tongues a little bit longer. Everyone, whether they knew they were doing it or not, started respecting each other more…and it was (and still is) beautiful.

Our First Day in the Office

During Corps Training Institute, we were told to make some sort of PowerPoint or presentation to share with the office upon our arrival. Because the disasters we were assigned to were so long ago, everyone in the office was able to make time to listen to our Bayou 6 spiel. We shared with a room full of professional emergency management strangers that we are a team of individuals between the ages of 18 and 24. We told them that physical training is a part of our job, we volunteer throughout the communities we live, a huge part of our program is to plan our Life After AmeriCorps, and we shared bits about ourselves—educationally, personally, professionally. When we completed our presentation we were met with smiles and one particular comment that will always resonate with me. A woman expressed her gratitude for us giving them this presentation. She said we were about her 6^th FEMA Corps team she would be working with and that she never knew how much responsibility we have outside of our 9 to 5 emergency management gig. This presentation gave FEMA employees the opportunity to start conversations on topics we all had in common, some showed us a free exercise facility, and others started forwarding us volunteer opportunities in the area. Not only did this presentation break down a barrier that I, as a new Team Leader, did not know existed…but it also made our lives as AmeriCorps members easier. All we needed to do was start that conversation. We did and because of that…we thrived.

I was and still am so proud of my team for buckling down and doing what seemed (at the time) to be a silly presentation. I think it was the most valuable work we could have done for ourselves, for the FEMA employees, and for all future FEMA Corps teams.

Make a Difference Day

As AmeriCorps members, we are required to volunteer on National Days of Service. The day of service that occurred in October was called “Make a Difference Day”. On that day, my team and I drove two hours north to help clean up after a tornado that occurred in Belmond, IA. It was a very cold day—below freezing—when we were out picking up debris and hauling mangled refrigerators and roofing to be disposed of or recycled. The work was exhausting and cold…and unbelievably gratifying. Here is just a fraction of what we helped pick up that day. This is a picture of a little river before and after the debris removal occurred. I think it’s safe to say that Bayou 6 made an impact in Belmond, IA that day.

Pre-Halloween Weekend

The weekend before Halloween, I highly encouraged my team to make plans so we can all hang out together. We all went to a Day of the Dead festival at the Des Moines Art Center to experience a little Latino culture. We ate delicious food, listened to beautiful music, and watched an Aztecan dance group perform. Right as we left the festival, we went to a pumpkin patch where we rode in a pumpkin trolley, ran through corn mazes, tossed bean bags, and pet little sheep. It was wonderful to be outside…and to be enjoying the company of the people I am so lucky to call my team. It was a great weekend.

The Simple Serendipities

And on to my favorite part: my favorite moments of October that filled me with laughter, joy, and sometimes, extreme pride.

We went to Camp Duncan Gray Again...

The Caramel Incident

On the last Team Leader extravaganza night, something occurred that I like to call “The Caramel Incident”. That night, one of the Team Leaders asked me to heat up some caramel so that we could dip sliced apples into it. Unfortunately, the microwave downstairs didn’t work. I took the caramel upstairs to the faculty lounge to heat it up instead. After one minute, the caramel did not begin melting…at all…so of course, I put it in for more time. This time around, I walked back down to the party because I was getting a little bored waiting for the caramel to melt…it’s kind of like “a watched pot never boils”…right? I went downstairs and ended up in conversation with someone for a minute longer than I should have…

When I got upstairs there was smoke trickling out of the sides of the microwave…and it stank like charred marshmallows. I quickly ran downstairs to get the TL (Julie) who asked me to do her this favor. She bolted back with me and we were in a panic. We opened the windows and turned the fan on to blow the smoke out. That is when I had a stroke of genius: Bring the microwave outside. Julie and I unplugged the microwave, carried it outside, and then let the smoke out. It was a fool-proof solution. No fire, no smoke, no alarm…and no fire department to ruin the festivities. THANK GOODNESS. Julie and I returned the party laughing uncontrollably. While everyone else was eating cake and making toasts…Julie and I put our emergency management skills to the test. And if you ask me, I’d say that we succeeded.  

Books

Upon arriving to Iowa, there was a huge book sale. I bought 8 books for $4.25. I was in heaven. Here is heaven: 

Adult Ballet

A little bit over a year ago, I wrote this on my bucket list: “25. Get good at some type of dance”. I’m not sure that I will ever be considered “good” at dance to anyone else…but this goal has at least encouraged me to pursue dance classes in my area. When my team and I got to Urbandale, IA…we noticed a dance studio close to our office. Out of interest and curiosity, a few of my Corps Members and I attended the adult ballet class there. It was AMAZING. It wasn’t so much of a dance class as much as it was a workout…but it didn’t matter to me. I had the opportunity to set my body and mind free with the intoxicating music and movements of dance. Tuesdays in Iowa will always be my favorite.

Dad’s Marathon

My dad, Pat Five Point Oh (Pat 5.0), is awesome.  A few months ago, I wrote that I surprised him at his first half marathon (13.1 miles) in May. And now, just five months later, he has completed his first MARATHON (26.2 miles). It’s not just any marathon, either. It is the only marathon in the world that starts in one country (The United States of America) and ends in another (Canada). If there was some way that I could have surprised my dad at this event…now that would have been epic. Unfortunately, the commute was a bit further and more expensive this time. Even so, I want to make sure I take this time to express how proud I am of him. He set a goal to start running half marathons, he increased his goal to marathons, and now…he’s successfully completed both of those goals. I admire him for his perseverance, his drive, and his desire to become healthier. I am so proud of you Dad. Hopefully I’ll be running next to you in one of these races in the next year…

October was awesome...and this is only month one of deployment. Yes, this month kicked my butt. But I write in my journal and I write this blog to give myself the opportunity to look back on each month with a clear, appreciative, and positive mindset. I'm very lucky to be here. I won't be forgetting that anytime soon.

Update on right now:

My team and I arrived in Jefferson City on November 18, 2013. We are scheduled to leave (again) on Monday, November 25^th for St. Robert, MO. We will be the only team in St. Robert for about one week until another team from the Vicksburg campus will be joining us. I absolutely can’t wait.

This past week has been incredible. I got to hang out with two of my favorite Team Leaders every day…and I watched Catching Fire on the night of its premiere. It was so good…go see it! J

There's No Such Thing As Coincidence

HOLY COW YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE THIS. I was just reading through my old blog posts and came across this:

What are people from other states called? Me and my friend Ryan had quite the laugh as we tried to figure out (read: make up) the names of people from other states. Like, I am from California—I am Californian. Our favorite made-up title was for people from Iowa—Iowinians. I'm certain that's incorrect, but it gave us a good laugh. I hope I never know the actual titles of people from other states…guessing is just way too fun.

What are the chances that my team's first deployment would be to IOWA? And here, I had this funny little conversation three months before I even had an inkling of where I would be deployed to. Amazing...

Upon this discovery...and after watching entirely too many mushy movies this weekend...I am even more convinced that everything happens for a reason. Even the smallest, seemingly inconsequential conversations about silly names or a friendly smile on the street or that big huge mistake you wish that you could take back or that time you put it all on the line and told someone you loved them...it all happens for some bigger reason. Or at least that is what I have chosen to believe. 

Today, someone told me "I wish I believed in true love." My immediate response was..."Sometimes I wish I didn't." I don't know if or when this naive, childish, romantic, silly attitude will ever pay off...but I certainly hope that it will...one day. Life has its bumpy, rough moments...but all in all, I am where I am right now, I'm growing every day and I'm genuinely happy with my progress towards wholeness.

I look forward to encountering more "coincidences" in my life. No matter how trivial...because that is just who I am. I am young, naive, hopeful, and vulnerable. I am a believer in true love and I believe everything happens for a reason.

On that note..I think it's time I switch back to reading non-fiction for a while to get my rational brain working a little more than it has these past few days. Moving to Jefferson City in T minus 13 hours! OH BOY! :) 

Goodnight everyone! <3

Mid-November Alterations

Last week at this time, I was naively sitting in a coffee shop, not knowing what the rest of the weekend would bring. Not 48 hours later was I preparing to send two of my Corps Members home. I panicked, of course, worried that this mass exodus would turn even more massive.

It has now been 4 days since I sent my team members home…and so far…things are running smoothly. In fact, I may even say that things are going well. The same day we saw our teammates off, we were given the last portion of our assignment at our location in Urbandale, Iowa. We have been (or at least I have been) too busy to even think about being sad about the absent members of our team. Did you notice I said “last portion” about our assignment? Well, I did…and guess what that means? A) We completed our assignment in Urbandale...and B) We have another new assignment J

Bayou 6 will be working in Jefferson City, Missouri for the second half of this deployment J This change of scenery, change of work, and change of atmosphere will be helpful to those team members who are truly broken from our team’s mini disintegration. I know that I am personally grateful (and unbelievably excited) because I get to work alongside some members of Team Green again. In fact, that’s all I can really think about right now.

Despite my giddiness…I am a bit concerned as well. Bayou 6 has been deployed alone for a month…and that was amazing for all of us. It turned teammates into friends and it allowed my Corps Members to see me as a normal human young adult…not just a rule enforcer, haha. We spent time together for the first time since our union…even if it was out of social necessity. But what will happen once we have two other teams to distract us? Will it bring us closer? Or will Bayou 6 time start to feel like an obligation with so many other social options around? And there’s the question of motivation—will my team still be able to uphold an air of enthusiasm with other teams who have been doing the same job for over a month around? Will I still be able to maintain my enthusiasm? I don’t think that anything about my leadership style will change…but this is really the first time I’ve wanted to spend time with my team…and other people. The balance will bring about a whole new challenge. One, I suppose, I am excited to embark on.

I’m about to have a social life…remind me what that is again? Team Green became the biggest group of best friends I’ve ever had in just shy of three months…and I’m about to have a taste of that back. I will be living in the same hotel and working at the same office as two of my favorite Team Leaders. I have been texting both of them non-stop this week ever since I heard the Jefferson City rumor. And now it’s no longer a rumor—it’s my reality.

My team leaves for Jefferson City Monday morning…we go straight to the office to get in-processed…and then the day will be over and I will get to embrace some of my favorite Team Leaders (and we will need to check into the hotel..)! I keep having this little daydream where I walk into the office and bolt across the room to give my friends the biggest hugs…but I know I can’t do that. It’s going to be challenging to maintain a professional attitude and express my joy upon our reunion. But that is a challenge for me to deal with on Monday. In the meantime…my team and I will be packing up our lives in Urbandale to prepare for our new adventure in Jefferson City.

Until next time…

Ps. I just realized something really cool…I will have lived in 5 different places in 4 different states in 6 months.

•          San Luis Obispo, CA
•          Lake Forest, CA
•          Vicksburg, MS
•          Urbandale, IA
•          Jefferson City, MO

I can’t wait to learn of all the places I will be living in the NEXT 6 months. I hope you all share my same excitement J

I Wasn't Prepared for This...

When I indulged in Team Leader Training and Corps Training Institute just a few months ago, they prepared me for a LOT of circumstances: Interpersonal conflicts, backlash from the team, handling the team when there isn’t much work to do, etc. I felt prepared and aware of just about every conflict that could possibly come up. Every conflict except these:

• How do I stay positive for my team…when other team members are quitting?
• How do I support my Corps Members moving on without accidentally encouraging the ones left that it’s okay for them to leave too?
• How do I maintain an “I care about your happiness” and “It’s unacceptable to bail on a commitment that you made” attitude simultaneously?

This past week has been challenging…to say the very least. I wish staying positive and encouraging for the remaining team members was as easy said as done. This challenge is brand new to me and everyone on my team. I know what I want the end goal to be. I want my team and me to be at peace with those who have chosen to pursue other endeavors, to keep the lines of communication open to how we are feeling about…everything, and create a mutual team effort of love, support, and encouragement. I learned very quickly last night that I cannot do this alone…but also that I do not have to. What an unbelievable relief.

I know that getting through these moments of fogginess, overcoming these fears, and truly stepping into my leadership role and encouraging others to step into theirs will make me the person I’ve always known I am capable of being. I’m terrified, truly, but I know I can do this. It may take a few days or it may take a few weeks…but my entire team will come out of this stronger. I know we will because I know everyone will step up…and not because I’m asking but because they are capable. Every last one of my team members is capable of greatness. Losing a few members may break our hearts…but this is our moment for growth as individuals, as leaders, and as a team.

I love my team—the ones who are staying and the ones that are moving on. I care so much about these young adults…more than I may ever care to admit. They break my heart, they challenge me, and they make me outstandingly proud. I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. 

My Accidental Happiness Project

After reading Gretchen Rubin’s “The Happiness Project”, I came to an interesting realization: I have been in the midst of an accidental “Happiness Project” for the past seven months. Looking on my first post back in May…I said this:

“I, much like you, have good days and bad days. I created this blog to remind myself every day that my life and everything in it is wonderful, even when it doesn't always feel like it. As of April 9, 2013, I began a daily “Highlights Journal”, inspired by my world traveling friend, David.

I started journaling because after my adventure with David in Europe, my collegiate life in San Luis Obispo started to feel deceivingly bland. I needed an activity that would help remind me how lucky I truly am for the life I am so privileged to have.”

-Shannon Conmy, May 26, 2013

I just finished the book this morning…and honestly, until I got to the end, I didn’t really appreciate it. The advice seemed obvious and redundant…but I realize now that perhaps it’s because I’ve already implemented so many of the little things into my life without even knowing it. Since April, I’ve been keeping a daily “Highlights Journal” (I’m almost through my entire first notebook!), I have chosen to embark in a year of selfless service with AmeriCorps, I have given up drinking alcohol, I try super extra hard to maintain a positive outlook on every situation for myself, my family and friends, and especially my team, I get to bed earlier, I read books on topics I’ve always been  interested in, and I do better to keep in touch with old friends, among many, many other things.

While some of the advice was not particularly fresh to me…there were a few things that stuck out as exciting new ideas and opportunities. I have them listed below J

•          Write a novel
•          Publish…something
•          Ride a hot air balloon
•          Laugh more!

There are definitely more tidbits of advice that stuck out…but I’ll have to go back and read my chicken scratch to tell you what they are. Mostly, I just want to encourage everyone to do what makes them happy. So far, I gotta tell you, it’s working for me.

Here's a picture that I hope makes you smile. Halloween was fun in the office: 

Have a wonderful day J